It has been profound to be both happy and sad with everything that has transpired, to rejoice and yet grieve, to trust God and at the same time try not to get lost in asking why. There hasn't been a clear separation in any of those emotions, when one comes - the other is near as well.
Today a precious young woman celebrated her birthday! She has a testimony of God's great love for her, love that causes broken things to be beautiful! What was meant for bad in her life, God has been faithful to use for good and as she shares her testimony with others their eyes can't help but to look to Jesus. So my birthday message to her was about a broken windshield we had once... I'm sure that sounds like a great "Happy Birthday".... I'm not sure if I have blogged about what God shown me with that broken windshield. If I have, sorry to bring it up again. The windshield had been hit by a little rock or something once while we were driving. It left a small nick in the glass. It stayed like that for a very long time with no change for months. Then winter came... and that nick turned into a crack. A very impressive crack that stretched most of the windshield. For the most part it did not bring "good feelings"... mostly for my husband as he was going to have to pay to get the windshield replaced! There was however a day when he was driving and I noticed something about that crack that I hadn't seen before. The light of course was coming through the windshield just like it does every other day... but where the crack was, the most beautiful and amazing array of colors were shining through. I had this moment of trying to get my husband to appreciate the beauty in it, but he wasn't really having it! I couldn't help but think of how God does the same thing for us. He uses the very broken things in our life to bring about some of the most intense, awe inspiring beauty!! So this is why I wrote about a broken windshield to such a precious friend on her birthday (Happy Birthday sweet Dahlia). God has used broken things for amazing beauty in her life.
With the same love, He has been merciful to allow beauty even through the brokenness of our grieving.
Kisses From Katie (pg 179) "Esau and Jacob meet for the first time in a long time. As Jacob approaches Esau, with his many children following close behind, Esau asks, 'And who are these with you?' Jacob replies: 'These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with.' "
And to finally share with you officially since I haven't made a formal update in an actual post here....
THESE ARE THE CHILDREN THAT THE LORD SAW FIT TO BLESS US WITH
"Sadie" - Sadie will be 10 in just a few months! She has Osteogenesis Imperfecta (Brittle Bone Disease). Sadie is the best friend of our daughter Sophia that I mentioned in the last blog post. The nannies told us that the girls have been together since they first learned to talk. They share a room with children that are non verbal and most are bedridden. Sadie and Sophia have been life to each other in many ways. While we were in country I posted and advocated for Sadie to have a family. We spent everyday with her that we spent with Sophia and knew she would make a very precious daughter for the family that would come for her. At that point, we had no idea she would be our daughter one day. Sadie is spunky, she is determined. If you have the pleasure of hearing her giggle one day, you will never forget it! She is a leader and she is unstoppable. Sadie did have a family that met her earlier this year. They could not continue the adoption at that time. They have never stopped loving her and never will. We thank the Lord for this family and their love for her.
"Sophia" - Sophia is 6! She has Spina Bifida. That does not stop this girl at all!! She swings as high as the swing will go and when you push her in the stroller she tries to rock it to go faster!! We received news in September that Sophia had been very sick. She needed to have emergency surgery for her shunt being dislodged. We have received the most precious pictures and videos of her in the hospital. There she sat wrapped in the blanket we left her. When we were with her we showed that we left kisses and our love in that blanket until we could come back for her.... to see her wrapped in it while we couldn't be with her meant so much. She is doing very well since the surgery. We have been able to Skype with her and Sadie both. They are very happy they can stay together and will now be sisters forever. Sophia is precious. I have never saw her without a smile. She reached her hand out over and over to be held wile we were with her. The director said that no matter what trouble life may have brought to Sophia, she has never lost her joy. 
"Alonzo" - Alonzo is 8! He has limb differences in that he is missing both thumbs as well as a bone in one arm. He also has some bone anomalies in his feet. To think of Alonzo, I cannot help but remember when he ran to the gate when we arrived. He was shouting and the director turned to us and said he is asking "Are they mine, are they mine!?!" Alonzo is remarkable, there is nothing that slows him down. He was so busy with everything around him while we were with him. Then it came to the day we had to leave, he looked at me so seriously when I cried. The older boys explained to him that we were going to miss him very much. It was a hard concept for him to understand. I look forward to him being home and getting to experience how loved he is.
Celita - Celita just turned 15! She is the baby that God first made me a mother with. She is beautiful not only on the outside but to the inner most parts of her heart. She is an amazing artist. She holds fast to her God given convictions.
Adante - Adante just turned 13! He is kind. He seeks to know what God wants him to do. He has a heart for the people of China and we look forward to seeing how God will use that. Adante and I share the same awkward habit of laughing if we are in tense situations.
Cesali - Cesali is 10! She is a nurturer. This girl has always had a song in her heart and you can find her singing all day long. She is unique in everyway. She has a determined spirit and she does not back down from what she knows is right.
Azadio - Azadio is 8! He is compassionate. He will share whatever he has whether it would be a favorite toy or a snack. It blesses his heart to give and make others happy. He is most happy right in the center of all of his siblings to spend time with.
Lelia - Lelia is 5! She asks everyday if this is the day we will go to Bulgaria for her sisters and brother. She is the little sister but she has a big personality. She is so expressive, you can see when she is thinking something big up just by the look in her eyes. She is a cuddler for sure!
Alais - Alais is 2! He brings laughter to every single one of us. He will walk into a room and announce "I'm praying" and just pray and pray! He is a helper and wants to be a part of whatever anyone is doing. You cannot convince him at all that he is the baby.
We are blessed beyond measure! I believe with all my heart that God is good, even when we experience pain, loss, or brokenness. And because He is good, I give Him thanks - These are the children that the Lord saw fit to bless me with!
We will continue to advocate for Mary Ellen and pray that the family that God is preparing to meet her new needs will be able to see her soon and bring her home. Please consider sharing her info that they might find her quickly. Thank you.
